FAMILY DAY

January 15, 2006.

The day that I held my daughter for the first time.

She was so sweet and calm, and ended up falling asleep on my shoulder in the room. She was so lethargic, though, that I was suspicious that the orphanage had drugged her for the 5 hour ride north to where we were waiting. She was wearing that crazy snowsuit that was 5 sizes too big, and had no shoes.

I thank God every day for giving me this wonderful gift of a child, and I thank God that I got her when I did, and not later. Luckily for the children left in her orphanage, a charitable organization has since gone into it, and improved the conditions greatly...at least it seems so given the state of the children more recently referred.

As much as we like to sugar coat things and try and understand that they were doing the best they could with the few resources they had, that orphanage was a hellhole. We're now suspicious and worry that there may have been melamine added to their food supply. So, while the caregivers had no idea, the dairy industry...and perhaps the fish industry...and perhaps other food industries were systematically poisoning the children of China, whether living in an orphanage or not. Nice.

Poor T had grunge caked on her wrists and ankles, she stunk so bad she made Dot and I smell, she didn't know how to eat solid foods b/c she had never been fed any, and was very, very skinny. Emaciated. I believe from mal-niutrician. She had a cold and probably an ear infection. She also practiced self-soothing acts common to institutionalized babies. In addition to sucking her thumb which she does to this day, she would use her hands as a mobile, waving her hands and fingers back and forth in front of her face while laying on her back.

When she'd drink a bottle of formula...(a piping hot bottle of formula) and when she'd sleep, she would do both so hard that she would break out in a sweat. When she fell asleep, she always wanted to rest her head on the skin of your chest, not on cloth. B/c she would usually be sweating, my sissy Dot and I would laugh and say she was "sliming" us.

Despite all that, I remember feeling very surprised and blessed that she could sit up by herself, crawl like a maniac, pull herself up and stand, surf furniture, and hold the bottle to feed herself...all at 10 months old and all despite her humble beginnings. I truly believe that someone in the orphanage showed her great care, perhaps even love, to enable her to be that far advanced phsyically. To this day T remains very physically coordinated and adept.


Three years later, its hard to remember the hellhole from which she came. If you've met her for more than 10 minutes or if you have read this blog for any length of time, you probably already realize that my T has a giant personality in a tiny body. She's a whirlwind of curiosity, mischief and spunk. Every once in a while though, especially when she's unsure or insecure, when she's acting out for attention or afraid to sleep by herself, I wonder how much of that is normal, and how much of that is a product of the environment from whence she came.

All I know is that she's changed my life forever, and has made me a much better person. She makes me laugh every single day and I love her more than anybody else on the face of this earth.

We're a family.